Best Man Speech Examples: Toast Writing Guide

Okay So Best Man Speeches Don’t Have to Be Terrible

Look I’ve sat through probably 200+ best man speeches at this point in my career and honestly like 80% of them make me physically uncomfortable. Not gonna sugarcoat it. The good news is writing a decent toast isn’t actually that hard if you just follow some basic structure and don’t try to be a standup comedian when you’re… not a standup comedian.

First thing – and this drives me absolutely crazy – guys seem to think the best man speech is their moment to roast the groom into oblivion. Spring 2023 I had a wedding where the best man spent literally seven minutes telling stories about the groom’s failed relationships and awkward college hookups while the bride’s entire family just sat there looking horrified. The bride was in tears and not the good kind. Don’t be that guy. The speech isn’t about you being hilarious, it’s about celebrating your friend and his new marriage.

The Basic Structure That Actually Works

Here’s what I tell people: your speech needs like three main parts and they don’t need to be fancy. You want an opening that introduces who you are, a middle section with a story or two about the groom (and ideally the couple), and then a closing toast. That’s it. You’re not writing a TED talk.

The opening should be super simple. Something like: “For those who don’t know me, I’m Jake, and I’ve known Tom since we were roommates freshman year at State.” Done. You’ve established your credentials. I’ve seen guys try to open with jokes or quotes or weird philosophical musings and it just… why? Just tell people who you are and how you know the groom.

The Middle Part Is Where You Tell Stories

This is the meat of your speech and where most people either nail it or completely bomb. You wanna pick one or two stories maximum. Not five stories, not a chronological journey through your entire friendship. One or two good ones.

What makes a good story for a wedding speech? It should:

• Show something positive about the groom’s character
• Be appropriate for literally everyone in the room including his grandmother
• Ideally connect to his relationship or to love in general
• Not be longer than like 90 seconds to tell

Here’s an example that would work: “I remember when Tom first told me about Sarah. We were supposed to go to this concert we’d had tickets for months, and he called me two hours before and said he couldn’t make it because Sarah had mentioned she’d never seen the sunset from Miller’s Point. He drove forty minutes out of his way just to show her a view. That’s when I knew he was serious about her – Tom never missed concerts for anyone.”

See how that works? It’s specific, it shows he’s thoughtful and romantic, it’s totally appropriate, and it ties directly to his relationship with his bride. You’re not trying to get massive laughs, you’re trying to make people smile and nod and think “aw that’s sweet.”

What About Humor Though

Okay so you can definitely include humor but it needs to be gentle humor. Self-deprecating stuff works great. Light teasing about innocent things works. Stories about his weird quirks that his wife obviously already knows about and finds endearing – that works too.

What doesn’t work: anything about ex-girlfriends, anything about wild partying or drinking stories (unless it ends wholesome), anything that suggests he was a player or commitment-phobe, anything embarrassing that the bride might not know, anything involving nudity or bathrooms or bodily functions. I know that seems obvious but you’d be shocked.

Summer 2021 I watched a best man tell a story about the groom getting so drunk he peed in a closet thinking it was the bathroom and I wanted to crawl under the table. The groom’s new in-laws were sitting right there. His bride’s face was frozen in this horrible smile. Just don’t.

Actually Let Me Give You Some Real Examples

Here’s a short speech structure that would totally work:

Opening: “Hi everyone, I’m Marcus, David’s brother and best man. I’ve known David his entire life, which means I’ve seen him at his best and his worst – mostly his worst since we shared a bathroom for 18 years.”

Story 1: “David has always been the kind of person who shows up. When I was going through a rough time junior year, he drove three hours every weekend just to make sure I was okay. He never made a big deal about it, he just showed up with pizza and terrible movie suggestions. That’s who he is.”

Transition to couple: “So when he met Jennifer, I wasn’t surprised that he showed up for her too. But what surprised me was watching how she showed up for him right back. I’ve never seen him happier or more himself than when he’s with her.”

Toast: “Jennifer, thank you for loving my brother and bringing out the best in him. David, you’ve found someone who matches your loyalty and your terrible taste in movies. Everyone please raise your glasses to David and Jennifer.”

That’s like 90 seconds, it’s heartfelt, it’s got a tiny bit of humor, and it honors both of them. You don’t need more than that honestly.

Another Example With Different Tone

Opening: “I’m Chris, and Mike and I met in the worst possible way – we were both dating the same girl in high school and didn’t know it. After that disaster, we became best friends, so I guess it worked out.”

Story: “Mike is one of those people who’s quietly competent at everything. He can fix your car, cook a perfect steak, give genuinely good advice – but he never brags about any of it. When he started talking about Amanda, though, suddenly he couldn’t shut up. He’d text me random things like ‘she laughed at my joke about thermodynamics’ or ‘she knows all the words to that song I like.’ Watching him fall in love was like watching someone discover color for the first time.”

About the bride: “Amanda, you somehow found the one person who will listen to your true crime podcast theories at 2am and actually engage with them. That’s rare. Mike, you found someone who appreciates your very specific brand of nerd. Also rare.”

Toast: “To Mike and Amanda – may you have a lifetime of inside jokes, midnight conversations, and whatever else makes you two so ridiculously happy together.”

The Things You Gotta Actually Say Out Loud

One thing that annoys me is when best men forget to actually welcome the bride into the family or acknowledge her at all. Like the whole speech is just about their friendship with the groom and then a generic “congrats you two” at the end. That feels weird and kinda rude?

Make sure you:

• Say the bride’s name multiple times
• Compliment her specifically (not just “she’s beautiful” – say something about her character or what she brings to his life)
• Acknowledge that she’s now family
• Thank both sets of parents if you want bonus points

You can work this in naturally. “Sarah, watching how you’ve supported Tom through his career change and made him braver – that’s the kind of partner everyone hopes to find. We’re so lucky to have you in our family now.”

Practical Tips For Actually Delivering This Thing

Okay so you’ve written something decent, now you gotta actually say it out loud in front of 150 people. Here’s what I always tell guys:

Write it down fully. Don’t wing it. Don’t use bullet points. Write out every single word you’re gonna say. You can sound natural while reading something, I promise.

Practice it out loud at least five times. Not in your head. Actually speaking it. You’ll catch weird phrasing or sentences that are too long. My cat judges me when I practice speeches in my living room but it’s worth it.

Time yourself. Your speech should be 2-4 minutes maximum. If it’s longer than that, cut it down. Nobody has ever complained that a wedding speech was too short. Plenty of people complain they’re too long.

Don’t get drunk before your speech. One drink to calm nerves is fine. Three drinks is how you end up rambling about that time in Cancun that definitely shouldn’t be mentioned.

Make eye contact with the couple. Not the entire time because that’s creepy, but look at them during meaningful parts. It makes it feel personal instead of like you’re performing.

Speak slowly. Everyone rushes when they’re nervous. Consciously slow down. Pause between thoughts. It’ll feel awkwardly slow to you but it’ll sound perfect to everyone else.

The Actual Toast Part

At the end you need to actually do the toast bit. This is where you tell everyone to raise their glasses and you say something final. It can be simple:

• “To the happy couple”
• “To love, laughter, and happily ever after”
• “To [Groom] and [Bride] – may your love continue to grow stronger every day”
• “Here’s to the newlyweds”

Or you can get slightly more personal: “To my best friend and his incredible wife – may you have a lifetime of adventures together. Cheers!”

Just make sure you actually say “please raise your glasses” or “everyone raise your glass” or something that cues people to actually do the toast. I’ve seen guys just say nice words and then sit down and everyone’s confused about whether they were supposed to drink or not.

Things That Sound Good But Actually Don’t Work

Starting with a quote from a famous person usually falls flat unless it’s really really good and relevant. Most of the time it just sounds like you googled “wedding quotes” which… you probably did.

Trying to make it a surprise or keeping the couple in suspense about what you’re gonna say creates unnecessary anxiety. They should know generally what you’re planning to talk about.

Props or visual aids or trying to do a bit – nah. Just give a nice speech. You’re not doing a TED talk or a comedy routine or a… I don’t even know what people are thinking sometimes. One guy brought out a PowerPoint and I nearly lost it.

Apologizing for being nervous or bad at public speaking at the beginning. Just start. If you acknowledge you’re nervous it makes everyone else nervous for you.

If You’re Really Struggling

If you’re genuinely stuck and can’t think of stories or what to say, here’s a cheat sheet approach. Answer these questions and turn them into sentences:

• How did you meet the groom?
• What’s one quality about him that you really respect?
• When did you first meet the bride or first hear about her?
• What changed about the groom when he fell in love with her?
• What do you hope for their future?

String those answers together with transitions and you’ve got a speech. It might not be the most creative speech ever but it’ll be sincere and appropriate and honestly that’s all you need.

The goal isn’t to be memorable or go viral or get the biggest laughs of the night. The goal is to honor your friend, welcome his new wife, and help set a warm tone for the celebration. If people smile and feel good and the couple looks happy, you’ve done your job. That’s literally it.

Also maybe don’t do what one best man did and try to incorporate a flash mob into the speech. That was a whole situation I don’t wanna relive. Just keep it simple, keep it kind, practice it a few times, and you’ll be totally fine.