Everything Wedding: Complete Guide

Let’s Talk Wedding Planning Because You’re Probably Overwhelmed

Okay so weddings are basically organized chaos and if you’re reading this you probably just got engaged and have no idea where to start. I’ve been planning weddings for almost two decades now and honestly the biggest thing is just breaking it down into chunks that don’t make you wanna cry into your coffee at 2am.

First thing—budget. I know everyone says this but seriously sit down with your partner and whoever’s contributing money and figure out the actual number. Not the “we’ll figure it out” number but the real one. I had this couple in spring 2023 who kept saying their budget was flexible and then had a complete meltdown when they realized flexible meant they’d spent $15k on flowers alone. Write down the max you can spend without going into debt or raiding your retirement fund.

The breakdown usually goes something like 45-50% venue and catering, 10% photography, 10% flowers and decor, 8% entertainment, 8% attire, and the rest gets divided between invitations, favors, transportation, and the million other things that pop up. But honestly every wedding is different so…

Venues Are Gonna Eat Your Budget

You need to book your venue before almost anything else because availability is insane right now. Like I’m not even exaggerating when I say popular venues book 18-24 months out. If you want a Saturday in peak season (May through October usually) you gotta move fast.

When you’re touring venues bring a notebook and take photos of everything. I mean everything—the bridal suite that looks cute online but smells like mildew, the parking situation, where the bathrooms are located relative to the ceremony space. One thing that really annoys me is when venues say they’re “all-inclusive” but then you find out chairs are extra, or they charge a cake-cutting fee, or you have to use their preferred vendors who are twice the price of anyone else.

Ask about:

• What’s actually included in the base price
• Overtime fees because weddings always run long
• Setup and cleanup—who does it and when
• Backup plans for weather if it’s outdoor
• Vendor restrictions or preferred lists
• Insurance requirements
• Noise ordinances or time restrictions

The Guest List Is Where Relationships Go To Die

Okay not really but it causes so much drama. Start with your A-list—people who absolutely must be there. Then your B-list of people you’d like to have. Your parents will have opinions and it’s gonna be a whole thing.

General rule is expect about 80% of local guests to attend and maybe 50% of out-of-town guests. Destination weddings are more like 30-40% unless it’s a really small group. Don’t invite people you haven’t spoken to in five years just because you went to their wedding—you’re not obligated and weddings are expensive per person.

For the love of all that’s holy use a spreadsheet. Track names, addresses, meal choices, RSVP status, gifts received. I use Google Sheets for my clients because multiple people can update it and you won’t lose it when your laptop crashes. Which happened to me and I almost quit the industry that week.

Vendors Are Your New Best Friends (Hopefully)

After the venue you need to lock in your photographer and videographer if you want one. Good ones book up fast. Look at full galleries not just the highlight reel on Instagram because anyone can make 20 photos look amazing.

Meet them in person or on video chat. You’re gonna spend your entire wedding day with this person and if they give you weird vibes or talk over you in the consultation just… nah. Move on. I watched a bride cry during her reception in summer 2021 because her photographer was so awkward and pushy that she couldn’t relax and all her photos looked stiff.

Catering and Cake

Do the tasting. Always do the tasting even if you think you don’t care about food. You care about food. Your guests definitely care about food. A bad meal is what people remember and complain about for years.

Buffet vs plated vs family style is mostly about budget and vibe. Plated is more formal and expensive. Buffet moves faster but you need to plan the flow so 150 people aren’t standing in a chaotic line. Family style feels cozy but requires more coordination.

Ask about dietary restrictions on your RSVP cards—vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, allergies. Your caterer needs actual numbers not “a few people might be vegetarian idk.”

Cake is weirdly expensive for what it is. You can do a small cutting cake for photos and then sheet cakes in the back that guests actually eat. Or do dessert bars, donuts, pie, whatever. My cat knocked over a three-tier practice cake I had in my kitchen once and honestly it was kinda a sign that wedding cakes are overrated.

Flowers and Decor

Flowers are where budgets go to die if you’re not careful. A simple bridal bouquet can be $150-300. Centerpieces for 20 tables? Easily $2000-4000 depending on what you want.

Save money by:

• Using in-season flowers
• Incorporating more greenery and less flowers
• Choosing statement arrangements for the ceremony and cocktail hour then moving them to the reception
• Doing non-floral centerpieces like candles, lanterns, books, vintage items
• Buying wholesale and DIYing if you’re crafty and have help

Don’t DIY flowers the week of your wedding unless you want a breakdown. Like seriously I’ve seen it happen and it’s not cute.

The Paper Stuff Because That’s Literally My Job

Save-the-dates go out 6-8 months before, earlier for destination weddings. Invitations go out 8-12 weeks before. You need to give people enough time but not so much time that they forget or their plans change.

Your invitation suite typically includes:

• The main invitation
• RSVP card with envelope
• Details card (hotel info, website, dress code)
• Reception card if it’s at a different location

Order 10-15% extra for mistakes, keepsakes, and last-minute additions. Address them by hand or hire a calligrapher or print directly on envelopes. Those clear labels look cheap sorry not sorry.

Weigh a full suite before you buy stamps because if it’s over 1 oz you need extra postage and finding out at the post office with 200 invitations is a special kind of nightmare.

The Website Thing

Make a wedding website. Put everything there—your story, the schedule, hotel blocks, registry, FAQs. It saves you from answering the same questions 47 times. Update it when things change. I had a couple who didn’t update their website when they changed the ceremony time and half their guests showed up an hour late so yeah.

What You’re Actually Wearing

Wedding dress shopping starts 8-12 months out because dresses take forever to come in and then you need alterations. Bring like 2-3 people max to appointments because too many opinions will make you insane. You know what you like.

The first dress you try on might be the one or you might try on 50. Both are fine. Don’t let consultants pressure you into buying that day if you’re not ready. But also don’t wait forever expecting something better because analysis paralysis is real.

Alterations cost $200-800 on average so factor that in. Buy the dress that fits your largest measurement—it’s easier to take in than let out.

Grooms and suits are easier honestly. Rent or buy, match the formality of the dress, make sure everyone gets measured properly. Groomsmen will procrastinate so set firm deadlines and follow up.

The Actual Day Timeline

Work backward from your desired end time. If you want to be done by 11pm and you want 4 hours of reception, cocktail hour is at 6, ceremony at 5:30, which means you need to start getting ready at like 1pm for photos at 3:30…

Buffer time is your friend. Things run late. Hair takes longer than expected. Someone can’t find their shoes. The flower delivery is stuck in traffic. Build in 15-30 minute buffers.

First look vs traditional—totally up to you. First look means you can do most photos before the ceremony and actually enjoy cocktail hour. Traditional means that moment walking down the aisle hits different. Neither is wrong.

Music and Entertainment

DJ vs band is budget and preference. Bands are more expensive ($3000-8000+) but create energy. DJs are more versatile ($1500-4000) and can play exactly what you want. Both can be amazing or terrible depending on who you hire.

Give them a do-not-play list. I’m serious. If you hate the Cupid Shuffle or the Chicken Dance tell them. It’s your wedding.

Also give them a must-play list but be realistic—you can’t fit 47 must-play songs into a 4-hour reception where people also eat and mingle and…

The Ceremony Itself

Keep it 20-30 minutes max. People’s attention spans are short and it’s probably hot or cold or something. Write your own vows or use traditional ones—whatever feels right. Practice saying them out loud before the day because reading emotional words in front of everyone is harder than you think.

Decide who’s officiating early. Friend getting ordained online? Cool but make sure they’re comfortable public speaking and they register properly in your state. Professional officiant? Interview a few because their style really matters.

Rehearsal the night before or earlier that week. Walk through the processional, where everyone stands, the recessional. It’s 30 minutes that prevents chaos.

Random Important Stuff I Almost Forgot

Get wedding insurance. Seriously like $200 can protect you if a vendor goes out of business or there’s extreme weather or someone gets injured.

Marriage license requirements vary by state—some have waiting periods, some don’t. Some require witnesses. Google your state’s requirements like 2 months out so you’re not scrambling.

Assign someone to be the point person day-of who isn’t you or your partner or your parents. Someone who can handle vendor questions and minor emergencies. Your wedding planner if you have one, or a super organized friend.

Feed your vendors. I know it’s an extra cost but your photographer and DJ and coordinator are there for 8-10 hours. At minimum provide vendor meals which are usually cheaper than guest meals.

Tips—budget 15-20% for catering staff, $50-200 per vendor depending on service. Cash in envelopes labeled and given by your point person.

The Stuff Nobody Tells You

You’re gonna forget to eat on your wedding day. Eat breakfast. Snack while getting ready. Have someone bring you food at the reception.

Your feet will hurt. Break in your shoes or bring backup flats.

Something will go wrong. A groomsman will forget his tie. The cake will arrive late. It rains. Roll with it because stressing won’t fix it and honestly guests don’t notice most of it.

The day goes so fast. Like I tell every couple this and they never believe me until after. Pause and look around and actually be present because it’s a blur.

You don’t have to do everything. Garter toss? Bouquet toss? Cutting cake? Sparkler exit? Grand entrance? First dance? Pick what matters to you and skip the rest. I’ve seen beautiful weddings that skipped half the traditional stuff and nobody cared.

Registry—put it on your website, include a range of price points, register for stuff you’ll actually use. You don’t need 12 serving platters unless you’re really into hosting. Cash funds for honeymoon or house down payment are totally acceptable now.

Thank you cards—write them within 3 months. Use a spreadsheet to track who gave what. Yes it’s tedious but it matters.

Hiring a Planner (Biased Obviously)

Full service planners handle everything from venue search to day-of coordination. Partial planning is help with specific things. Month-of or day-of coordination is just managing the timeline and vendors on the actual day.

We’re not cheap but we save you time, stress, and often money because we know vendors and can negotiate. If your budget is tight, at minimum get day-of coordination so you’re not managing your own event.

Interview planners like any vendor. Ask about their process, how many weddings they do per year, if they have backup plans, what’s included. Some planners are super hands-on and some are more laid-back—find your match.

The biggest mistakes I see are people not reading contracts carefully, not building in buffer time, not feeding themselves during the day, and trying to DIY too much to save money then getting overwhelmed. Also not communicating with your partner about what you each actually want because you’re gonna have different priorities and that’s fine but you gotta talk about it.

Anyway this is already super long and I feel like I’m forgetting a million things but honestly every wedding is different and you’ll figure out what works for you. Trust your gut, don’t let other people’s opinions override what you want, and remember the point is to get married to someone you love—everything else is just party planning.