Wedding Announcements: Post-Wedding Card Etiquette

So About Those Post-Wedding Announcements Nobody Talks About

Okay so you got married and didn’t invite everyone or maybe you eloped or had a tiny ceremony and now you’re wondering what to do about telling people. This is literally one of the most confusing parts of wedding etiquette because nobody really explains it well.

Post-wedding announcements are basically cards you send after the wedding to let people know you got hitched. They’re NOT thank you cards and they’re NOT invitations. Think of them as fancy news bulletins that happen to be about your marriage.

When You Actually Need These Things

There’s this whole list of situations where these make sense and I’m gonna break it down because I had this client in spring 2022 who was SO confused about this. She kept calling them “after-party invitations” which made me want to pull my hair out a little bit honestly.

You need announcement cards when:

• You eloped and your family is finding out via Facebook which is awkward
• You had a destination wedding with like 20 people max
• You did a courthouse wedding or intimate ceremony
• You had a small wedding due to budget constraints but still want to share the news properly
• COVID happened and you downsized everything (so many of these situations in 2020-2021)
• You got married in a different country where your family couldn’t travel
• One side of the family had a huge guest list and you literally couldn’t accommodate everyone

The thing is, these aren’t invitations so people shouldn’t feel obligated to send gifts. But umm… they often do anyway, which creates this weird secondary situation we’ll get to later.

Timing Because Everyone Gets This Wrong

Send them AFTER the wedding. I know that sounds obvious but you’d be surprised how many people think they should go out before or—and this drives me nuts—the same day as the ceremony like some kind of parallel universe invitation.

The ideal timeline is within a few weeks after your wedding. Like two weeks to three months is the sweet spot. Any longer and people are gonna find out through social media or the grapevine and your announcement card becomes kind of pointless.

I remember summer 2024 I had this couple who waited SEVEN MONTHS to send their announcements because the husband kept saying they should wait for the professional photos. By the time they sent them out, literally everyone already knew, had seen 400 photos on Instagram, and the announcement felt like old news. His aunt even called asking if they were renewing their vows or something. Don’t be that couple.

But What If You’re Waiting for Photos?

Yeah okay so professional photos take forever, we all know this. Your photographer probably told you 6-8 weeks but it might be 10-12 weeks or… longer. You’ve got options:

• Use engagement photos or couple photos you already have
• Send announcements without photos (totally fine actually)
• Use a nice photo someone took on a phone during the ceremony—phone cameras are incredible now
• Design the card so you can add photos later if you’re doing a photo insert style

The announcement itself doesn’t HAVE to have a wedding day photo. It’s nice but not required.

What These Cards Should Actually Say

The wording is where people get really in their heads about it. It’s simpler than you think though.

Traditional format goes something like:

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Hayes announce the marriage of their daughter Rebecca Anne to Mr. Michael James Porter on Saturday, the fifteenth of June two thousand twenty-four in Portland, Oregon

But honestly who talks like that anymore? You can also do:

Rebecca Hayes and Michael Porter joyfully announce their marriage on June 15, 2024 in Portland, Oregon

Or even more casual:

We got married! Rebecca and Michael Porter June 15, 2024 • Portland, OR

The key info you gotta include:

• Both of your names (however you’re doing the name thing post-wedding)
• The date you got married
• The location (city and state is enough, you don’t need the venue name)

You don’t need to include the time. You don’t need to include “regret that you were unable to attend” because that’s weirdly passive aggressive. You don’t need to explain WHY it was a small wedding or why they weren’t invited.

The Gift Question That Makes Everything Awkward

So here’s the thing that really annoys me about wedding announcements—people treat them like gift solicitations. They’re not supposed to be. The whole POINT historically was just to share news, kinda like when people used to put announcements in newspapers.

But modern etiquette has gotten weird about it because when people receive any wedding-related mail, they think “oh I should send a gift.” And then you’ve got this situation where you’re like “no no we didn’t invite you because we wanted a small wedding but also we’re not asking for gifts” but people send them anyway and then you’re writing thank you notes and it becomes this whole thing.

You have a few options here:

1. Don’t include any registry information at all (traditional approach)
2. Include a wedding website that happens to have registry info if people go looking for it
3. Add a tiny note like “Your presence in our lives is the greatest gift” which hopefully signals no gifts needed
4. Just accept that some people will send gifts and write thank you notes

For what it’s worth, I tell my couples to go with option 1 or 4. People are gonna do what they’re gonna do regardless.

Who Gets These Announcements Anyway

This is actually the easiest part. Send them to:

• Anyone who wasn’t invited to the wedding but who you want to share the news with formally
• Extended family who couldn’t make it
• Family friends who’ve known you forever
• Colleagues or professional contacts if you have that kind of relationship
• Friends who live far away and couldn’t travel
• Your parents’ friends if your parents want to share the news (old school but still happens)

Do NOT send them to:

• People who were invited and attended (they were there, they know you got married)
• People who were invited but declined (they already got the invitation, announcement is redundant)
• Random acquaintances or people you haven’t talked to in years unless there’s a specific reason
• Your ex-boyfriend’s mom even though you really liked her—just don’t, trust me on this

I had a situation once where a bride wanted to send announcements to everyone in her graduating class from high school. Like all 300 people. I had to gently explain that unless she was still in contact with them, it was gonna come across as a gift grab which… yeah.

Design Stuff Because Aesthetics Matter Kind Of

Your announcement card should somewhat match your wedding vibe but it doesn’t have to be identical to your invitations. Actually it shouldn’t look exactly like your invitations because then it’s confusing.

Simple usually works best:

• Single card, maybe 5×7 or 4×6
• Clean design with your photo or just elegant typography
• Same formality level as your wedding was (don’t send super formal announcements if you got married on a beach in shorts)
• Good quality cardstock—this isn’t the time for printer paper

I always recommend my clients check out places like Minted, Artifact Uprising, or even Etsy for templates. You can also go full custom with a designer if that’s your thing and you have the budget.

What About Digital Announcements?

Okay so this is controversial in the wedding industry but I’m just gonna say it—digital announcements are fine for some people. Not everyone though.

Email or a really nice digital card works for:

• Younger friends who live online anyway
• Colleagues you’re friendly with but not super close to
• International contacts where postage gets expensive
• Very casual weddings where everything was low-key

But you should probably send physical cards to:

• Anyone over 60 (generally speaking—my dad barely checks email)
• Close family members
• Anyone who you know appreciates traditional etiquette
• Your spouse’s family even if you think it’s old fashioned

Mix and match is totally acceptable. Nobody says it has to be all or nothing.

Addressing and Mailing Without Losing Your Mind

Addressing these cards follows the same basic rules as wedding invitation addressing, which means it’s needlessly complicated and everyone has opinions about it.

Formal outer envelope should have full names and titles:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Anderson
123 Maple Street
Seattle, Washington 98101

Less formal works too:

Thomas and Sarah Anderson
123 Maple Street
Seattle, WA 98101

Some things to remember:

• Use full names not nicknames for the outer envelope
• Double check spellings because nothing says “we don’t really know you” like misspelling someone’s name
• Include apartment numbers and any address details
• If you’re not sure about someone’s address, just ask—don’t guess and hope for the best

For return addresses, you can put your new married name if you’ve changed it, or your individual names, or however you’re doing it. This isn’t the time to worry about perfection.

Postage Is More Expensive Than You Think

Seriously go to the post office and have them weigh your announcement before you buy stamps. If your card is square or oversized or has any embellishments, it’s gonna cost more than a regular stamp. I’ve had so many clients who bought 100 Forever stamps and then found out they needed like $0.92 per card instead of $0.68 or whatever it is now.

Also if you’re mailing internationally, look up those rates early. Sending announcements to your spouse’s family in Ireland or wherever can add up fast.

The Thank You Note Domino Effect

Here’s what nobody tells you—if you send announcements, some people WILL send gifts even though they weren’t invited and technically aren’t obligated to. Which means you need to send thank you notes. Which means your “simple announcement” has turned into a whole additional wave of wedding correspondence.

My cat just knocked over my coffee while I’m writing this, perfect timing buddy. Anyway.

When you get gifts from people who received announcements:

• Send a thank you note within three months max
• Mention the specific gift
• Don’t apologize for not inviting them—that’s weird and makes it awkward
• Keep it warm but brief

Something like:

Dear Aunt Marie, Thank you so much for the beautiful serving platter. We’ve already used it twice and think of you every time. We’re so grateful for your love and support. Love, Rebecca and Michael

Short, sweet, done. You don’t need to write a novel.

Special Situations That Come Up All The Time

Real talk, there’s always some weird circumstance that doesn’t fit the standard rules. Let me run through the ones I deal with constantly:

Second Marriages

Announcement etiquette is actually more relaxed for second marriages. You can absolutely send announcements but maybe skip like, your parents’ entire social circle if they were all at your first wedding. Focus on:

• New friends you’ve made since the divorce/widowhood
• Professional contacts who might not know your personal life
• Family who couldn’t attend the intimate ceremony
• Your new spouse’s extended family

The wording is simpler too—just your names, the date, the location. No need to include parents’ names unless you really want to.

When Parents Are Divorced or Complicated

If you’re doing traditional wording that includes parents’ names and your parents are divorced, you have options. You can list them separately, you can just list your mother, you can skip parent names entirely and just announce it yourselves.

Honestly for announcements, skipping the parent names altogether is usually easier unless there’s a specific reason to include them. This isn’t an invitation where you’re hosting anything, it’s just news.