Rehearsal Dinner Speech Examples: Sample Ideas & Examples

Okay So Rehearsal Dinner Speeches

Right so you’ve gotta give a rehearsal dinner speech and you’re freaking out. I get it. I’ve sat through probably 200+ rehearsal dinners at this point and honestly the speeches are either amazing or they make everyone want to crawl under the table. There’s no in between.

The thing that annoys me most? When people treat the rehearsal dinner speech like it’s the actual wedding toast. Nah. This is different. It’s more intimate, usually just close family and the wedding party, and you can be way more personal and relaxed. Save the polished perfect stuff for tomorrow.

Who Actually Gives These Speeches

Typically it’s the groom’s parents who host the rehearsal dinner, so the groom’s dad or mom (or both) will speak first. Then you might have the groom say something, maybe the bride if she wants, and sometimes the best man or maid of honor will do a quick thing but that’s kinda optional since they’re speaking at the wedding anyway.

Back in summer 2021 I had this rehearsal dinner where literally 8 people wanted to speak and it went on for like an hour and everyone’s food got cold and people were checking their phones. Don’t be that event. Keep it to 3-4 speakers max.

The Groom’s Parents Speech

If you’re the groom’s parents this is your moment. You’re welcoming everyone, thanking them for coming into town, and basically saying “we’re so happy our son found this person.”

Sample idea for groom’s dad:

Good evening everyone. For those who don’t know me, I’m John, father of the groom and the guy who taught Mike how to ride a bike and also how to change a tire, though I’m not sure which skill he’s actually used more. We’re so grateful you’re all here tonight. Some of you traveled across the country, some of you just traveled across town, but it means everything to us. I remember when Mike first told us about Sarah. He called me on a Tuesday night which was unusual because Mike never calls, he texts like everyone else his age. But he called and he said “Dad I met someone” and there was something different in his voice. Three years later here we are and I understand why. Sarah you’ve made our son happier than we’ve ever seen him. You laugh at his terrible jokes, you somehow convinced him to eat vegetables, and most importantly you love him for exactly who he is. To our new daughter and to both of your families becoming one family, cheers.

See how that works? It’s warm but not over the top. Personal details but nothing embarrassing. You acknowledge everyone’s effort to be there. And it’s SHORT. Maybe 90 seconds tops.

The Groom’s Speech

Alright so if you’re the groom you need to thank your parents for hosting, thank everyone for coming, and say something nice about your bride. This is also where you can thank your groomsmen if you want or save that for tomorrow.

Sample idea:

I’m gonna keep this short because I know everyone’s hungry and also because public speaking isn’t really my thing. Mom and Dad thank you for tonight and for everything really. Growing up you showed me what a good marriage looks like and that’s probably why I knew I wanted this with Emma. To my groomsmen thanks for being here and for pretending you’re excited about wearing those suits tomorrow. And Emma… I don’t know how I got this lucky. You’re the smartest funniest most beautiful person I know and somehow you agreed to marry me. I can’t wait for tomorrow and for every day after that. Let’s eat.

Keep it simple. Don’t ramble. I watched a groom once talk for like 10 minutes about how he and his bride met and it was sweet for the first minute but then people were just… waiting for it to end.

The Bride’s Speech (Optional)

You don’t have to speak at the rehearsal dinner if you’re the bride. Traditionally you might not since the groom’s family is hosting. But if you want to say something go for it. This is a good time to thank your future in-laws and maybe your own parents.

Sample idea:

Thank you so much for this beautiful dinner. I wasn’t planning to speak but I couldn’t let tonight go by without saying thank you to my parents for everything they’ve done to help plan this weekend and for raising me to know what I deserve in a partner. And to my soon-to-be in-laws thank you for raising the man I’m marrying tomorrow and for welcoming me into your family so completely. I feel so lucky to be gaining all of you. Okay I’m gonna sit down now before I cry and mess up my makeup for tomorrow.

Short and sweet. Hit the key people. Done.

Best Man or Maid of Honor Speech

Usually these people speak at the wedding reception so they might skip the rehearsal dinner, but if you’re doing a quick toast here’s the vibe: keep it light, maybe tell one quick story, don’t steal your own thunder for tomorrow.

Sample for best man:

Hey everyone I’m Dan, best man and the guy who’s known Jake since we were roommates freshman year of college. I’ll save the good stories for tomorrow but I just wanted to say real quick that Jake is my brother in every way that matters and watching him with Claire these past few years has been incredible. She makes him better and he makes her laugh which honestly seems like the whole secret right there. To Jake and Claire.

That’s like 30 seconds. Perfect for a rehearsal dinner.

Things To Include In Your Speech

No matter who you are speaking as, hit these points:

• Welcome or thank people for being there
• One specific story or detail about the couple (not generic “they’re so in love” stuff)
• Something about what you’ve observed in their relationship
• A welcome to the new family member
• Keep it under 2 minutes unless you’re the host

The specific detail thing is important. Don’t just say “Sarah is wonderful.” Say “Sarah stayed up until 2am helping Mike prepare for his big presentation even though she had her own deadline the next day.” Details make it real.

Things To Avoid

Oh man where do I start. Spring 2023 I had a father of the groom who decided to roast his son for like 5 minutes and it was… uncomfortable. Like funny-ish at first but then it just kept going and the bride looked mortified and the groom was trying to laugh but you could tell he was kinda hurt.

Don’t do these things:

• Embarrassing stories about ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends (why do people think this is okay???)
• Inside jokes that literally nobody else understands
• Anything about the wedding night or honeymoon that’s even slightly suggestive
• Roasting either person too hard
• Getting drunk before you speak (you’d think this is obvious but…)
• Reading from your phone the entire time – notes are fine but make eye contact
• Crying so much you can’t actually get words out (I’ve seen this happen twice)

How To Actually Write Your Speech

Okay so here’s what I tell people. Sit down with a piece of paper or open a doc on your computer and just brain dump everything you might want to say. Don’t organize it yet just get it all out.

Then pick 2-3 main points. That’s it. You’re not writing a dissertation. Maybe it’s: 1) Thank everyone 2) Story about when you knew the bride was special 3) Welcome her to the family.

Write out those sections but keep each one to like 2-3 sentences. Then practice it out loud because reading something versus saying it out loud are totally different and you’ll catch weird phrasing.

My cat literally just knocked over my coffee while I’m writing this which feels like a sign that I should mention… practice your speech somewhere quiet where you won’t be interrupted because you need to hear how it actually sounds.

The Actual Delivery Part

Stand up when you speak even if it’s a small group. It helps people know you’re talking and also helps you project your voice. Have your notes with you – nobody cares if you glance at them. Don’t memorize word for word because if you forget something you’ll panic.

Speak slower than you think you should. When people are nervous they talk fast and then it’s over in 30 seconds and nobody absorbed anything.

Make eye contact with the couple and with different people in the room, not just staring at one spot or reading your notes the whole time.

And breathe. Like actually remember to breathe. I’ve watched people rush through speeches without taking a single breath and then they’re light headed and flustered.

If You’re Super Nervous

Look I get it. Public speaking is terrifying for a lot of people. Here’s what gonna help:

Practice it at least 5 times out loud before the actual dinner. Say it in your car, say it in the shower, say it to your dog. The more you say it the more natural it’ll feel.

Remember that everyone there WANTS you to do well. They’re not hoping you’ll mess up. They’re on your side.

If you mess up a word or lose your place just pause, take a breath, find where you were, and keep going. Don’t apologize or make a big deal out of it.

Have a glass of water nearby. Dry mouth is real when you’re nervous.

Quick Templates By Role

Parents of groom template: Welcome everyone + mention planning/hosting + story about groom growing up or meeting bride + welcome bride to family + toast

Groom template: Thank parents for dinner + thank everyone for coming + thank groomsmen + say something heartfelt about bride + express excitement for tomorrow + toast

Bride template: Thank host + thank own parents + thank new in-laws + brief comment about groom or tomorrow + toast

Wedding party template: Introduce yourself + one quick story or observation + compliment to couple + toast

Real Talk About Length

I cannot stress this enough: shorter is better. You think you need to fill time but you don’t. A 60-90 second speech is perfect. A 2 minute speech is fine. A 3 minute speech is pushing it. Anything over 5 minutes and people are done.

I timed myself reading those sample speeches above out loud at a normal pace and they’re all between 45-90 seconds. That’s the sweet spot.

The Toast Part

Every speech should end with an actual toast. Raise your glass, say something like “To Mike and Sarah” or “To the happy couple” or “To love and laughter” and then everyone drinks. That’s your signal that you’re done talking. Don’t just trail off and sit down awkwardly… though honestly I’ve seen that happen and it’s fine too, people will figure it out.

What If Multiple People Are Speaking

Coordinate beforehand so you’re not all saying the same stuff. If dad is doing the welcome and thank you, groom doesn’t need to do a long version of that. If mom is telling the story about meeting the bride, dad should pick a different angle.

Also decide on an order. Usually it goes: host (groom’s parents), groom, bride if she wants to, then wedding party if they’re speaking. But you can mix it up based on what makes sense for your group.

One More Sample For The Groom’s Mom

Because moms often want to speak too and it’s their son getting married so of course they have feelings:

Hi everyone I’m Linda, mother of the groom. My husband already said most of what needs to be said but I couldn’t let tonight pass without adding a few words. When you raise a son you wonder what kind of partner he’ll choose and if he’ll find someone who truly gets him. The first time Michael brought Rebecca home for dinner she helped me clean up the kitchen without being asked and we talked for an hour about everything and nothing. That’s when I knew. Not because she helped clean up, though that was nice, but because I could see how comfortable Michael was, how much himself he was with her there. Rebecca you’ve become the daughter I always hoped for and I’m so grateful. Tomorrow’s going to be beautiful but tonight I just want to say welcome to our family officially. We love you.

See that works because it’s emotional without being over the top and it has that specific detail about the kitchen conversation that makes it feel real and not generic.

If You Totally Freeze Up

Worst case scenario you stand up and your mind goes blank. It happens. Just say “I’m so happy everyone’s here tonight. Mike and Sarah we love you so much and we can’t wait for tomorrow. Cheers.” And sit down. Honestly that’s better than stammering through something you can’t remember or getting upset. Nobody will judge you for keeping it simple.