Bridesmaid Invitation: Will You Be My Bridesmaid Cards

Okay So Bridesmaid Proposal Cards Are Actually A Thing Now

Look, I know what you’re thinking because I literally had this exact conversation with a bride last spring when she came to me totally overwhelmed about asking her bridesmaids. Like when did we start needing actual cards for this? But here we are in 2024 and honestly bridesmaid proposal cards have become this whole production and I’m gonna help you figure it out without losing your mind.

First thing – you don’t technically NEED these cards. I’ve planned weddings where the bride just texted her best friend at 2am like “hey wanna be my bridesmaid” and it was perfect. But if you want to do the whole proposal thing, let’s talk about how to actually pull it off without it feeling weird or forced.

Timing Is Kinda Everything Here

So you wanna send these cards out like 8-12 months before your wedding. Any earlier and people forget, any later and you’re scrambling. I had this bride in summer 2021 who waited until 4 months before her wedding and half her bridesmaids had already committed to being in other weddings that same season and it was just… yeah it was a mess.

Also think about whether you’re doing this all at once or individually. I’ve seen both work but doing it all at once means nobody feels like they were an afterthought. Though honestly if someone’s gonna be upset about the ORDER you asked them they probably have bigger issues but that’s just me.

What Actually Goes In These Cards

The card itself should have some kind of “will you be my bridesmaid” message obviously. But here’s what drives me absolutely nuts – when brides write these super formal messages that sound nothing like how they actually talk. Like “It would bring me great joy if you would stand beside me on my special day” when you literally call this person to complain about your boss every week.

Write it how you’d actually say it. Some options:

• “I can’t do this without you, will you be my bridesmaid?”
• “Bridesmaid? Please? I promise the dress won’t be hideous”
• “You’ve seen me at my worst, now watch me get married – be my bridesmaid?”
• “I need someone to keep me sane. Bridesmaid duty?”

You can also include details like the wedding date, location, and maybe a heads up about costs if you know your bridesmaids are on tight budgets. That’s actually really thoughtful because then they can make an informed decision instead of saying yes and then freaking out later when they realize they gotta drop $800 on a dress and bachelorette trip.

DIY vs Store Bought vs Custom

Alright so you’ve got three main routes here and they all have pros and cons.

Store Bought Cards

Places like Etsy, Amazon, Target, even the grocery store sometimes have these cards now. They’re usually like $5-15 each and they’re fine. Totally fine. Nobody’s gonna judge you for using a pre-made card unless they’re the kind of person who judges everything anyway and then who cares.

The nice thing about store bought is you can get them fast and they look polished. The annoying thing is everyone’s seen them before. I’ve literally seen the same rose gold “will you be my bridesmaid” card at three different weddings in one month.

DIY Cards

If you’re crafty or just want to save money, making your own cards is totally doable. You need cardstock, some kind of printer or nice handwriting, maybe some embellishments if you’re feeling fancy. Michaels and Hobby Lobby have entire aisles dedicated to this stuff.

I made DIY cards for my own wedding back in… wait no I didn’t have bridesmaid proposal cards because that wasn’t really a thing yet, but I’ve helped clients make them and honestly it’s kinda therapeutic? Like put on a show (I was rewatching The Office for the millionth time during one of these crafting sessions) and just assembly-line it.

Just don’t go overboard. I’ve seen brides spend 6 hours on each card and that’s just not sustainable when you have 47 other wedding things to do.

Custom Designed Cards

This is where you hire a stationer (hi, that’s me) or use an online service to create something totally unique. These usually run $15-50 per card depending on how extra you wanna get. Letterpress, foil stamping, custom illustrations of you and each bridesmaid – sky’s the limit.

Is it worth it? Depends on your budget and how much you care about stationery. Some brides are like “this HAS to be perfect” and others are like “it’s gonna end up in a drawer anyway.”

The Whole Proposal Box Situation

Okay so cards have sorta evolved into these entire proposal boxes and I have thoughts. The boxes usually include the card plus gifts like:

• Champagne or wine
• Candles
• Robes or pajamas
• Jewelry they’ll wear on the wedding day
• Scrunchies or hair ties
• Face masks
• Personalized hangers
• Tote bags
• Compact mirrors

Here’s my honest take – if you WANT to do a whole box thing, cool. But don’t feel pressured to spend $100 per person just because Instagram makes it look mandatory. I’ve had brides stress themselves out trying to create these Pinterest-perfect boxes when their bridesmaids would’ve been just as happy with a heartfelt card and maybe a mini bottle of champagne.

One thing that’s actually useful to include is anything they’ll need for the wedding itself. Like if you want them to wear specific jewelry or you’re giving them matching robes for getting-ready photos, include that. Otherwise it’s just more stuff and we all have enough stuff.

Personalization Without Going Broke

Everyone says “personalize it!” but what does that actually mean? You can:

• Write a different handwritten note to each person about why you want them as a bridesmaid
• Include an inside joke or reference to your friendship
• Choose gifts based on their actual interests (not just generic bridesmaid stuff)
• Use photos of the two of you together
• Reference a specific memory

I had a client in spring 2023 who was planning a destination wedding and she included a small photo album in each box with pictures from trips they’d taken together. It was sweet and personal and didn’t cost a fortune because she just printed them at Walgreens.

Delivery Method Matters More Than You Think

So you’ve got your cards ready – now what? You can:

Hand deliver them: This is nice if everyone’s local and you can do like a coffee date or lunch. Makes it feel special and you get their reaction in person. Though honestly if someone says no (it happens!) this can be kinda awkward.

Mail them: Good for long-distance friends or if you want everyone to get them at the same time. Just factor in shipping costs and time. And maybe text them a heads up that something’s coming so they don’t think it’s junk mail.

Drop them off: Like hand delivering but more casual – you can just leave it at their door with a text. Less pressure for both of you.

What If Someone Says No

Okay real talk – sometimes people decline and it sucks but it’s not personal. Maybe they can’t afford it, maybe they’re dealing with health stuff, maybe they just don’t want to. I’ve seen this happen and the brides who handle it best are the ones who just say “totally understand, I still want you at the wedding” and move on.

Don’t make it weird. Don’t guilt trip them. Just… actually you know what, if you’re the kind of person who would guilt trip someone over this, we need to have a different conversation.

Maid of Honor vs Bridesmaids

Should your MOH card be different? Up to you. Some brides do a fancier version or include an extra gift. Some keep them all the same. I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here unless you make it SO different that your other bridesmaids feel like chopped liver.

You could also do the MOH ask separately and make it a bigger deal, then do the bridesmaid asks together. Whatever feels right for your relationships.

Design Elements That Actually Work

If you’re designing or choosing cards, here’s what I’ve seen work well:

Colors: Match your wedding colors if you want, or just go with something pretty. Rose gold and blush are everywhere but if that’s your vibe, go for it. I’m personally kinda over rose gold but that’s probably because I’ve seen it on 10,000 wedding things at this point.

Fonts: Keep it readable. I’ve seen cards with such fancy script that nobody could actually read them and then what’s the point.

Photos: Including a photo of you and each bridesmaid is sweet but not required. Just make sure it’s a good photo because my cat once photobombed a picture I was gonna use for this and I had to find a different one.

Size: Standard card size (5×7) is easiest for mailing and framing if they want to keep it. Weird sizes are harder to find envelopes for, trust me on this.

Budget Breakdown

Since I’m a planner I’m gonna give you some actual numbers:

Minimal approach: $5-10 per person (simple card, maybe a small treat)

Middle ground: $25-50 per person (nice card, small gift, maybe champagne)

Going all out: $75-150+ per person (custom cards, multiple gifts, fancy packaging)

Remember you’ve got a whole wedding to pay for so don’t blow your budget here. Your bridesmaids love you for you, not for how much you spend on a proposal box.

Common Mistakes I See All The Time

Don’t ask people you feel obligated to ask. If you don’t actually want someone in your wedding party, don’t ask them just because you think you should. It makes everything weird for months.

Don’t assume everyone can afford it. Be upfront about costs or offer to help if you can. I had a bride who paid for all her bridesmaids’ dresses because she knew they were students and that was really thoughtful.

Don’t do it too early. I know I said 8-12 months but seriously don’t ask someone 2 years in advance because things change and people move and life happens.

Don’t make it all about the aesthetic. Like yes it’s nice if everything looks pretty for photos but the actual relationship matters more than whether the cards match your color scheme perfectly or…

Quick Ideas For Different Styles

Minimalist: Simple white card with black text, maybe a single flower

Rustic: Kraft paper, twine, dried flowers

Glamorous: Metallics, fancy fonts, maybe some glitter (though glitter gets everywhere and you’ll be finding it for months)

Modern: Clean lines, bold colors, geometric patterns

Vintage: Lace, pearls, antique-looking designs

Funny: Memes, jokes, puns about being a bridesmaid

Pick whatever actually reflects your personality instead of what you think you’re supposed to do.

The Actual Wording Examples

Since I’m a stationery consultant people ask me about wording constantly. Here are some that don’t sound totally cheesy:

• “I found my person, now I need my people. Bridesmaid?”
• “Something old, something new, something borrowed, someone like you – be my bridesmaid?”
• “I promise the bachelorette won’t be terrible. Be my bridesmaid?”
• “I can’t say I do without you”
• “Will you be my bridesmaid? (No take-backs)”

Or just keep it simple: “Will you be my bridesmaid?” works perfectly fine.

Digital Options Because It’s 2024

You can totally do this digitally if that’s more your style. Evite, Paperless Post, or even just a really nice graphic you text or email. It’s not less meaningful just because it’s digital, and honestly some people prefer it because then they don’t have more physical stuff to store.

You could also do a video message or a voice memo or a phone call. The method matters way less than the actual asking.