Everything You Need to Plan a Wedding: Complete Checklist

Getting Started With Your Wedding Planning Timeline

Okay so first thing you gotta know is that most people need like 12-18 months to plan a wedding, but I’ve seen it done in three months and I’ve also watched couples spend two years on it. There’s no perfect timeline, which honestly annoyed me so much when I first started planning weddings because everyone wants a definitive answer and I just… can’t give one that works for everyone.

Start by figuring out your season. Spring and fall are the most popular (and expensive), summer can be hot but gorgeous, winter weddings have this whole vibe but you’re gonna deal with weather issues. I had a bride in spring 2023 who insisted on an outdoor April wedding and we had to scramble for tent heaters because it dropped to 45 degrees. Just saying.

The Budget Conversation Nobody Wants to Have

Before you do literally anything else, sit down and figure out what you can actually spend. I know it’s not romantic or fun but trust me on this. The average wedding costs around $30,000 now, but I’ve planned beautiful weddings for $8,000 and I’ve planned weddings that were $150,000. Your budget determines everything else.

Talk to your families if they’re contributing. Get specific numbers, not vague promises. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen family drama because someone thought “we’ll help out” meant $10,000 when it actually meant $1,000.

Break down your budget into percentages roughly like this:

• Venue and catering: 40-50% of your budget
• Photography and videography: 10-15%
• Flowers and decor: 8-10%
• Attire: 8-10%
• Entertainment: 8-10%
• Stationery and paper goods: 2-3%
• Everything else: 10-15%

The Guest List Nightmare

This is where couples fight. Like, this is THE thing that causes the most stress. You need to create your guest list before you book a venue because venues have capacity limits and pricing is usually per person.

Start with your A-list – people who absolutely must be there. Then your B-list – people you’d like to invite if budget and space allow. My cat jumped on my keyboard while I was typing up a guest list spreadsheet for a client last month and somehow added 47 rows of gibberish which, honestly, is how most guest lists feel anyway.

Here’s what you need to track for each guest:

• Full legal names (for escort cards and seating charts)
• Mailing addresses
• Email addresses
• Dietary restrictions
• Plus-one status
• Whether they’re invited to other events (rehearsal dinner, etc.)

Booking Your Major Vendors

Once you have a date and budget, start booking vendors immediately. Good vendors book up 12-18 months in advance in major cities, sometimes even longer for peak season dates.

Book in this order: venue, photographer, caterer (if not included with venue), band or DJ, florist, videographer, hair and makeup, officiant. Everything else can wait a bit.

When you’re meeting with vendors, bring a list of questions. Don’t just go with whoever has the prettiest Instagram. I had this situation in summer 2021 where a couple booked a photographer based solely on their social media and didn’t ask about turnaround time… ended up waiting nine months for their photos because it wasn’t in the contract.

The Actual Checklist Part

Alright so here’s the month-by-month breakdown, though again, adjust this based on your timeline.

12+ Months Before

• Announce your engagement (fun part!)
• Determine your budget
• Start your guest list
• Choose your wedding party
• Hire a planner if you’re using one
• Book your venue
• Book your photographer
• Book your caterer
• Start looking at dress styles
• Create a wedding website

9-11 Months Before

• Book your band or DJ
• Book your florist
• Book your videographer
• Order your wedding dress
• Start looking at suit or tux options
• Book your ceremony venue/officiant
• Book hotel room blocks
• Register for gifts
• Plan your honeymoon

6-8 Months Before

• Order invitations (this is my specialty and people always wait too long)
• Book hair and makeup artists
• Book rehearsal dinner venue
• Order wedding party attire
• Start thinking about ceremony music
• Finalize your menu with caterer
• Book transportation
• Plan ceremony details

Quick note on invitations because this is literally what I do – you need to order these at least 4 months before your wedding. They take 2-4 weeks to print, then you need time to address them (or hire a calligrapher), then mail them 6-8 weeks before the wedding. So many couples try to order invites 6 weeks before the wedding and it’s just… no.

4-5 Months Before

• Mail invitations
• Have dress fittings
• Finalize ceremony readings and vows
• Order wedding cake
• Order wedding rings
• Plan day-of timeline
• Book any additional services (photobooth, etc.)
• Get marriage license info for your state

2-3 Months Before

• Have final dress fitting
• Finalize decor details
• Create seating chart (wait until RSVPs come in)
• Order escort cards and table numbers
• Write thank you notes for gifts as they arrive
• Confirm details with all vendors
• Break in your wedding shoes
• Plan rehearsal dinner

The seating chart is gonna drive you insane. There’s no way around it. You’ll try to keep college friends together but then remember Sarah and Mike dated and it ended badly, and your aunt can’t sit near your mom because of that thing from 1987 that nobody talks about but everyone remembers.

1 Month Before

• Have final venue walkthrough
• Get marriage license
• Finalize timeline with vendors
• Do a final headcount with caterer
• Assign ceremony roles (readings, etc.)
• Pack for honeymoon
• Prepare vendor tips and payments
• Create emergency kit for wedding day

The Details Everyone Forgets

You need someone to be in charge of stuff on the wedding day. Not you, not your partner. Assign someone (your planner, a responsible friend, your mom if she’s not gonna be too emotional) to handle:

• Paying vendors and distributing tips
• Holding your phone and personal items
• Directing guests
• Handling any issues that come up
• Making sure you actually eat
• Collecting gifts and cards
• Taking decor home at the end of the night

That last one – I cannot stress this enough. I’ve seen thousands of dollars in decor left behind because nobody was assigned to pack it up. Venues will throw it away. They’re not gonna store your centerpieces.

Stationery Timeline Breakdown

Since this is kinda my thing, here’s what you actually need and when:

Save the dates: mail 6-8 months before the wedding, especially if it’s a destination wedding or holiday weekend. You don’t technically need these but they’re helpful.

Invitations: order 4 months before, mail 6-8 weeks before. Include the invitation, RSVP card, details card (with hotel info, website, etc.), and envelope. Get extra invitations printed – you’ll want them for keepsakes and people will lose theirs.

Day-of paper: escort cards, menus, table numbers, programs, welcome sign. Order these 2-3 months before. Programs are honestly optional now since most ceremonies are short and… do people really read them? But if you want them, go for it.

Thank you notes: order these early and start writing them as gifts arrive. Don’t wait until after the wedding to order and write 200 thank you notes. You’ll hate yourself.

What Nobody Tells You

Something will go wrong on your wedding day. A vendor will be late, the weather won’t cooperate, someone will get drunk and make a scene, the cake will arrive damaged, whatever. It happens at literally every wedding. What matters is whether you let it ruin your day or you just roll with it.

You probably won’t eat dinner. Everyone will want to talk to you during the reception. Eat a big breakfast and have your planner or venue staff set aside a plate for you to eat later or bring you appetizers.

The day goes by SO fast. Like ridiculously fast. I watch couples spend a year planning and then the whole thing is over in what feels like 20 minutes. Try to take moments to actually look around and remember it.

You don’t need everything Pinterest tells you that you need. You don’t need a sparkler exit, you don’t need a coffee bar, you don’t need personalized napkins with your hashtag on them, you don’t need… actually I could go on for hours about this because the wedding industry tries to sell you so much unnecessary stuff.

The Things You Actually Need

Stripping it down to basics: venue, food, drinks, music, photographer, something to wear, someone to marry you, and people to celebrate with you. Everything else is extra.

That said, the extras are what make it feel like YOUR wedding. So spend money on what matters to you personally. If you don’t care about flowers, don’t blow your budget on them. If photography is everything to you, allocate more there.

Managing Family Expectations

Your mom is gonna have opinions. Your future mother-in-law is gonna have different opinions. Your dad might have opinions about the budget. Everyone will think their opinion matters equally and you’re gonna have to navigate that while also planning a wedding that feels like yours.

Set boundaries early. “We appreciate your input and we’ll definitely consider it” is a nice way of saying “thanks but we’re probably not doing that.” If someone is contributing financially, they do get some say, but that doesn’t mean they get to plan the whole wedding.

Have a united front with your partner. Decide together what you want and then present it to families as a done deal rather than a discussion.

The Week Before

Honestly the week before is when I earn my money as a planner because couples are losing their minds. You’ll be stressed, you’ll be excited, you’ll be wondering if you ordered enough wine or whether Aunt Linda will actually show up even though she didn’t RSVP.

Make a timeline for the wedding day – not just for you, but for everyone involved. When does hair and makeup start? When do vendors arrive? When do guests arrive? When does the ceremony start? When’s dinner? When’s the cake cutting? When does the venue kick you out?

Share this timeline with your vendors, your wedding party, and your families. Put someone in charge of making sure it actually happens.

Confirm everything with every vendor. Call them, email them, text them. “Hey we’re still on for Saturday right?” sounds neurotic but I’ve seen vendors show up on the wrong day because of a calendar mix-up.

The other thing that drives me crazy is when couples don’t eat breakfast on the wedding day because they’re “too nervous” or they want to “fit into their dress” and then they’re starving and shaky during the ceremony or they get drunk too fast at the reception. Eat breakfast. Drink water. Take care of yourself.

Day-Of Survival Kit

Put together (or have someone put together) an emergency kit with: safety pins, fashion tape, stain remover, Band-Aids, pain reliever, antacids, breath mints, tissues, bobby pins, clear nail polish (for stocking runs), deodorant, phone charger, snacks, and any medications you might need.

Also bring: the marriage license, vendor contact info, timeline, payment envelopes, your vows if you wrote them down, and any decor items that aren’t being delivered.